What Being Financially Secure Feels Like

Have you ever wondered what it might be like to have no financial concerns? I can’t speak to that personally, but I’ve spent a bit of time around some folks who are very financially well off.

At one point in my life, I thought I would make a fortune building businesses, but I’ve decided that goal isn’t realistic given my other obligations and priorities. However, I am very much interested in wealth— not for what it allows you to purchase, but for how it makes you feel.. in particular, I’m interested in how it feels to be financially secure.

What is it exactly about having money that makes people different? It must feel a certain way, right? I think from studying a few people that I know and combining it with my own experience of having a solid emergency fund for the first time, that I can paint a picture of what it’s like to be financially secure— happier, more contented, and more relaxed.

In this article, I’ll outline some of the emotional benefits that wealth provides. They aren’t magic. They don’t transform you into a wonderful human, or make you immune from all of life’s problems— but they do create a level of security that allows for a different way of engaging the world. A way that I think is worth thinking about and possibly trying to cultivate in your own life.

Freedom from financial worries

When you can pay your bills without fear of them bouncing your account below zero, you can breathe easier and feel lighter. You aren’t working or living with that constant sense of anxiety of when the next crisis will hit. You know you have what it takes to solve that problem, because you have a cushion to soften the blow of unexpected expenses.

Confident about your future

The future is uncertain for all of us, and wealth doesn’t change that fact. Anyone who has wealth can lose it through foolish choices or tough circumstances. But while you have it, and aren’t taking a huge risk with your investments, it’s natural to feel a sense of confidence about what the future holds. Knowing you have a nest egg, that you can invest in opportunities, and that you can live without a paycheck for a while if you need to makes a huge difference in your entire outlook towards the future.

Able to take risks that you couldn’t take before

Being financially secure means that you don’t need to live from paycheck to paycheck. In fact, you can go quite a while and afford your living expenses without traditional income, if that’s something you choose.

In my case, I’ve always been able to take risks in my career and think long-term because my wife had a steady income we could rely on if something didn’t pan out. Her steady paycheck meant that I didn’t have to play it safe, and go for the quickest financial return. I had the freedom of time, which allowed me to enjoy the journey more than I would have, otherwise.

Less jealous about what other people have

I can’t say that having money automatically makes you less envious of rich people, but it does take away that bitter sting of envy that people often have against those of similar means to them. Most people compare themselves to their friends, neighbors, and family members— so if you’re feeling good about what you have, then you’re less likely to go around resentful at what others have.

More tolerant of different ways of thinking

To those without money, the world feels one way, and the problems you have are of a certain kind. You care about things like paying off debt, making your next paycheck, and making sure your family has enough for groceries. This means that when you’re around people who aren’t struggling, or have more than they need, it’s easy to feel a bit of disdain for how they talk and what they care about.

This is one of the reasons that it’s hard for ordinary people to have relationships with rich folks— they’re on a totally different page with a different vocabulary, and it’s frustrating to hear them talking about their problems when you’re barely getting by.

Calmer under stress and in relationships

Compared to other areas of our life, financial pressures come to feel urgent in a way that other problems don’t. If your car needs to be repaired and you don’t have the money, you can’t wait on that problem. You’re going to feel a sense of urgency to find that money, no matter what it takes.

These kinds of stresses are not good for your health, either physically or emotionally. And if allowed to build up, can make you feel angry or on edge towards those around you. On the other hand, financially secure people, while they still have problems, don’t have these kinds of urgent problems where they have to find money fast. They know they have the money, and so can solve the problem calmly.

A greater sense of self-worth

Most people feel like there is something a little bit more respectable about being rich, or even financially secure, than being poor. They know it’s not fair, and they know it’s not based on anything real or worthy, but the feeling is still there.

Just think about how you feel when a friend makes a lot of money, or you hear about someone getting rich quick. There’s something you admire about it, and something you want for yourself. Or, think about our society’s obsessions with status symbols like expensive clothes or cars— people spend this money because they know it will make them look good in the eyes of others, and increase their social status.

Able to give more generously

The more you have, the more you can give. In fact, being in a financially secure position makes you or your family, or even your business, a safety net for others to rely on. In my family, for example, a few of the more financially secure families and individuals have banded together to create a small fund for those in our midst who run into unexpected financial troubles. Not only does this help those in need, it brings a sense of camaraderie and community to those who give.

Blissfully unaware of certain annoyances

Personally, I think one of the biggest benefits of being financially secure is that you can solve certain problems with your money. Think about all the things in your life that bother you on a regular basis, but you put up with because of time or money. Or maybe, you can’t afford to upgrade a window in your house, buy a new car, or travel to see a long distance friend.

When you are financially secure you can’t buy everything you want, but you can upgrade certain little parts of your life that make life a little more pleasant. For example, I recently bought the premium version of a few of my favorite apps. No more annoying ads— what a luxury!

Not needing to compare yourself to others

When your needs are met, and you feel like you have more than enough, you no longer feel the need to measure your worth against others. It’s true that the desire for money can never be satisfied, but many feel that once their needs are met, they feel like they have enough for now. Instead, their curiosity is piqued and they want something to do with their life.

They’re not interested in money, per se, but in the game of business or of creating a product that others find useful. And at this point, they are either building for status (which is comparing yourself to others) or simply for their own satisfaction. Many people, probably most, arrive at this point with far less money than they think they need— and that’s because they decide what they have is enough, and that’s what makes all the difference.

Longer planning horizons

When you’re poor, with no money in your bank account, you tend to be consumed with your immediate, short-term needs. Afterall, what’s the point of planning for the future if you’re not going to make it through the present? But once you become financially secure, and earn a bit more than you need, you start to think differently. You start to think about saving for emergencies, or for a big purchase someday. You might even start to think about business opportunities. These are all things that require capital, but also the sense of confidence and stability that comes with financial security.

Fostering friendships with people who add value to your life

While money might not be able to buy the most genuine of friendships, it does take away the need to hang out with people that you don’t like. For example, you won’t need to tolerate a particular boss or client, if you have enough money saved and are making good money elsewhere.

You might also find that you can afford to live in a neighborhood with people more like you, or send your kids to a better school. These kinds of decisions about where to live, and where to send your kids to school, can have profound impacts on your experiences and the people you come to know.

Comfortable spending money on things you enjoy

When you’re really poor, just scraping by, it’s hard to enjoy the money you do have. That’s because you know you can’t afford wasteful spending. You worry, rightfully, that any money you spend on things you enjoy is money being taken out of your emergency fund. This means that you really can’t enjoy this money, and don’t feel the peace of mind that comes with having a wide financial moat around your life. On the other hand, when you reach the point of financial security, you can enjoy the things that money can buy without the guilt or fear of not having enough.

Investing more time in your hobbies and passions

One thing that more money buys you is more time. This is a time tested truth that we have all observed. Either you can’t afford to fix things or you do them yourself, which means spending time that you don’t have. But if you have money, you can frequently hire people to do things for you and you get that time back. That means more time for the things that you love, and less time having to worry about paying for them, or cutting corners because you don’t have enough money to do it right.

Putting other people’s needs first

If you are a financially secure person, then you know what I am talking about. For the first time, you’re driving down the highway and a car breaks down in front of you. You realize that you have no choice but to stop and help. It’s not about wanting to help or not; it’s about having the means to help. And suddenly, you find yourself realizing that you can do some good in the world. You can help a stranger because you’re not too busy or too stressed to put someone else’s needs first.

Accepting yourself as you are

It’s a lot easier to feel good in your own skin when you have the money to take care of yourself. You can afford to spend money on things that make you feel good, look good, and live more comfortably. When you’re struggling paycheck to paycheck, life is just hard. You’re mostly just trying to survive, and there’s not much time or money leftover to tend to your appearance or your well-being. Money comes with its own set of problems, but financial security provides a wonderful baseline of stability from which you can start to feel good about who you are and how you look.

Safety from life’s many curveballs

Nobody likes to think about the worst case scenarios. Too many what-ifs can cause a lot of anxiety and make you feel like life is spiraling out of control. That’s in part because there’s not much you can do about these fears, so it’s best to just put them out of your mind and not think about it.

But one of the benefits of being financially secure is that you know you can handle some of life’s more common curveballs. When you have an emergency fund, you don’t worry about things like car trouble, an unexpected medical bill, or having to replace your air conditioner early.

Doing more of the things that bring you joy

When you have money, you have options. You no longer have to do things a certain way because that is the cheapest or fastest way to do them. You can afford to pick and choose the things that you like to do, and the things that bring you joy.

For example, my wife’s job recently became more difficult and less rewarding. Instead of quitting for a job that was less demanding, she decided to go part-time and do more of the work she enjoys. We were only able to make this decision because we can afford to live without the money she would have made working all 7 days of the week.

Enjoying a greater sense of control over your life

The less money you have, the more time you spend thinking about money. It seems counterintuitive, but until your financial needs are taken care of, it’s hard to focus on much else. However, as you become more financially secure, you find that you have enough money and eventually even that is good enough. You stop pushing for more, and at some point, you find that you have the ability to stop thinking about money altogether.

More resilient against setbacks

It’s nice to feel like you are in control of your life. I’m not saying that money can buy happiness, but it does buy options and a bit of security. It allows you to choose your own path instead of feeling like you have to go along with whatever life throws at you. You can afford to take more risks and to pursue things that you enjoy. It feels good to have that sense of control back in your life that only financial security can bring.

Being curious instead of afraid of the future

When you are barely getting by, it is hard to be curious about the future. You are too focused on the present and just trying to survive. But when you start to build a bit of savings, you can afford to be curious again. You can think about the future and make plans. One of the great pleasures of financial security is being able to look forward to the future with hope and optimism instead of fear and dread.