Spending Without the Guilt Trip

One of the best pieces of financial advice that my wife and I ever received was that there’s a huge difference between spending impulsively and spending intentionally. Impulsive spending can be a real burden on your finances— and on your conscience— because it rarely aligns with your deeper values or long term plans.

Intentional spending, on the other hand, can be a great way to enjoy the fruits of your hard work. Some people insist that spending money on anything other than the most necessary expenses is a waste of funds, but I don’t agree.

I believe that enjoyment and pleasure in this life are legitimate goals, and spending money is one way to accomplish that. If our financial goals are on track, we’ve paid our tithe or made our contribution to organized charities, and then hit our personal savings goal, then my wife and I spend guilt-free in a number of different areas. Here are some examples from our own lives… maybe they’ll inspire you to think about your own.

Taking a spontaneous day trip

While my wife and I enjoy traveling and call it a hobby of ours, we rarely book anything far in advance. Most of our trips are small day trips that we plan with a few days notice. We’ll research restaurants and food stands ahead of time and plan to eat every meal out that day. This is a small luxury that we afford ourselves because we enjoy the time together, the memories we make, and the relief of having a day with fewer chores.

Investing in quality, durable goods

I’m a huge proponent of getting your money’s worth. In most areas of my life, I find that buying the cheapest item is a penny wise and a pound foolish. Cheaper goods wear out and need to be replaced more frequently. But I also have a strong desire for simplicity in my life, and find that I derive pleasure from owning and using nice, well-made things. When I buy something I know I’ll be using for years, I often go for a more expensive, more durable option.

Enjoying a wonderful book

I’m a big reader, so you might think that I buy all my books used or check them out from the library. While I do take advantage of those options, I also regularly buy brand new books from the bookstore. Why do I do this when there are cheaper options available? It’s because I would never take myself out to eat on my own or buy an alcoholic drink, so this is my version of a small luxury. I love a nice looking book and enjoy keeping them on my bookshelf after I read them.

Grabbing a quick bite to eat

My wife and I, like most people, have a busy life. Raising three kids on top of all the other responsibilities of being an adult fills up our time pretty quickly. When we’re given the rare opportunity of an hour to ourselves without the kids, we often walk to one of our favorite downtown restaurants and grab a quick bite to eat. We value the ability to be spontaneous in our relationship, and have found that splurging in this small area has kept us close through the years.

Gifting friends and family with thoughtful gifts

One of our most important values that my wife and I share is our faith in God as Christians, and as an outworking of that, the importance of other people and relationships. We try to live our lives focused outward and making other people’s lives better. That’s a natural reason for us to use our money to bless our friends and family with gifts from time to time, either for birthdays or other special occasions. Of all the ways we spend our money, this is probably the easiest to justify.

Making our home cozy and welcoming

Another way we like to bless others is with a warm, inviting home environment that is a pleasure to be in. This ties into our love of hospitality, but is also just a gift we like to give ourselves and our kids. Spending a little extra money to decorate our home and make it a nice place to be has been another simple joy in our life that we wouldn’t give up unless our finances required it. We don’t go overboard, of course, but just find pleasure in making a beautiful space.

Buying a house in a location we love

My family lives in a small but growing city in the southeastern part of the United States. While the house we live in is big enough for our family, it certainly isn’t anything fancy. We chose it because it’s about a 15 minute walk from the downtown area that has our favorite restaurants, ice cream spots, coffee shops, and a beautiful walking trail. This has made for some wonderful, and simple memories with our family that we wouldn’t have experienced had we not splurged on a home in this location.

Investing in self-care and comfort items

I know that self-care is a bit of a buzzword in our modern culture, and I don’t mean to elevate it to the same status as taking care of others, but I do think it’s important to give yourself a break sometimes. Being a frugal person, there are lots of ways I could save a few bucks here or there if I was looking to squeeze every penny of value out of my money, but I recognize that sometimes it’s important to spend on yourself. As the saying goes, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”

Breaking up your routine with a vacation

Another thing that my wife and I see as a worthwhile investment is the money we spend on small vacations with our kids. I know from my own childhood that many of my clearest and fondest memories are from the times my family went away to the beach or did something out of the ordinary. We try to do the same for our kids by mixing in a few short vacations throughout the year and packing our days full of fun.

Spending less money than you earn is foundational to any common sense financial plan, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t ever have fun. For my wife and I, the best way to manage our finances is to have a budget with a few simple goals— retirement, emergency savings, charitable giving, and no consumer debt— and then to spend everything else guilt-free in ways that improve our family’s quality of life.